Before I even get into this, no, it has nothing to do with the surgery lol :)
So, for quite a few years now I get these random "attacks" in my left or right foot (usually my left). It happens every 3-6 months, lasts for a few days. It is, to say the least, the worst pain I have ever felt - truly debilitating. I went to my Doctor and she referred me to a podiatrist. They diagnosed me with this thing called "Morton's Neuropathy". Basically it is this nerve condition affecting the left three toes on the foot (specifically the nerves, tendons, etc.) causing really bad pain. For a while that's what I thought it was, but now the pain is also on the top of the foot on the big toe as well. It travels up my calf a little bit too. In any event, it sucks ass, and I called my doctor today to have her prescribe some other medication since the anti-inflammatories I have for it I can't use anymore (since I had GBS). When did I call her? 6 hours ago. Has she called me back yet? No, of course not. Now, they are closed, which is just FANTASTIC.
I am literally stranded in the Den. I got up, hobbled in here (barely), sat down, and have been in front of the computer since 9AM. I can't get up to even go to the bathroom - that's how bad it hurts. When Adam gets home he's going to give me the last of the liquid pain meds I had from surgery to see if that lets me walk. If not, I'm off to the hospital to night to find out what can be done to fix this. It is quite horrific, I assure you.
Got a call from my Mom today - she went home sick, and apparently threw up a few times. The Dr. thinks it's a reaction to the pain meds she took for her arthritis today (a new kind of pain med - she's had some issues with it since she got it). So, she took the rest of today and tomorrow off. She sounded really crappy when I talked to her earlier, but she's doing better now, resting and trying to recover. Poor thing :( Love you Momma! <3
In the world of eating, things are great :) I went to Cooper's Hawk the other day with a friend who is going to have Lap-Band surgery in a few weeks. I had some of their lobster bisque (just a little bit - maybe 1/4 of a cup- since it's pretty rich). I also had three jumbo sea scallops, lightly seared and then broiled. OMG fantastic. I ate two of them at dinner and the third about 2.5 hours later for a snack :). In any event, things are going well on the eating front, and I'm plugging along like always :). I think pizza for dinner tonight perhaps ;-)
Hugs to all!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Pizza Pizza!!!
Thanks to Shelley's idea of making a post-op friendly pizza (http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com), I am now enjoying a slice of pepperoni and cheese pizza :D It's SO GOOD :D:D:D!
Here is how you make it:
Bariatric Friendly Pepperoni and Cheese Pizza
You need:
Mission Carb Balance Tortilla (Small Fajita Size)
Hormel Turkey Pepperoni, cut into fours (you can use up to 17 slices per pizza - I used just 10)
2% Mozzarella Cheese
Your favorite (low sugar) pizza sauce
Take the tortilla and put it on a lightly sprayed cookie sheet
Turn on the broiler of your oven and put the tortilla under the broiler for about 2 to 2:30 minutes to crisp up.
Take out the tortilla, put the pizza sauce on, followed by the pepperoni, and lastly the cheese.
Put it back under the broiler for 2 to 2:30 minutes (depending how brown you want the cheese).
Voila :D That's it :) It's super healthy and super yummy! I only can eat 2 of the small slices, but it's so good :D
I gave Adam the other half and he loved it :D! YAY!
Enjoy!
Here is how you make it:
Bariatric Friendly Pepperoni and Cheese Pizza
You need:
Mission Carb Balance Tortilla (Small Fajita Size)
Hormel Turkey Pepperoni, cut into fours (you can use up to 17 slices per pizza - I used just 10)
2% Mozzarella Cheese
Your favorite (low sugar) pizza sauce
Take the tortilla and put it on a lightly sprayed cookie sheet
Turn on the broiler of your oven and put the tortilla under the broiler for about 2 to 2:30 minutes to crisp up.
Take out the tortilla, put the pizza sauce on, followed by the pepperoni, and lastly the cheese.
Put it back under the broiler for 2 to 2:30 minutes (depending how brown you want the cheese).
Voila :D That's it :) It's super healthy and super yummy! I only can eat 2 of the small slices, but it's so good :D
I gave Adam the other half and he loved it :D! YAY!
Enjoy!
Aww - Thanks Adam!
Adam made me a birthday lunch of a grilled cheese sandwich and a lightly fried egg :-] I will be able to eat about half of it, but I love him for making it :-) aww!
What To Do On My Birthday?
I don't really have all that much planned today, other than I am going to see The Hunger Games tonight at my favorite theater with Adam, Josh and David. I will say, that the mint chocolate chip protein ice cream came out SO GOOD - I doubled the recipe, and put twice as much peppermint extract in it. Yeah - for next time, only 1/8 of a teaspoon is enough - 1/4 of a teaspoon made this REALLY pepperminty :D haha It was even better than the chocolate peanut butter one though - so good! I am including a picture of it as it is what I am having for breakfast LOL - (don't hate on that haters - Yes, I'm having ice cream for breakfast but #1) it's my birthday, and #2) It has 22grams of protein per serving, 1.5 g fat, and like 120 calories for ALL of it - I'll eat about 1/2 lol).
On a serious note, my birthday started before midnight last night. I received a Facebook message from one of my dear friends. While we have only met in person a handful of times, we always keep in touch (have been online gaming friends for YEARS). His message to me literally made me cry because of the content of the message. He said things to me like how my weight loss journey inspires him to resolve some of his own shortcomings, and he said what truly stands out about me is my sense of courage and self-worth. I really didn't know what to say after reading that, but that's when I lost it. The letter goes on to say that regardless of what others may have said about me throughout my life, I stay upbeat and resilient, refusing to compromise whereas 99% of the other people in similar situations would have done that or given up. It's scary how well he knows me, but it's even more scary that I really don't think about those things when I say what I say or do what I do. I just do what feels right, from the heart, without thinking about how I will look afterwards. I believe in always pursuing your dreams, regardless of obstacles in your path. To have someone that I haven't physically seen very often say those things about me, well, I was completely speechless (which for those that know me is something that I am not very often <grin>).
So, to my friend that sent this to me, I just want to say that while I have gotten some great birthday gifts this year, I truly think that your letter was the best gift of all. It made my heart sing and validated what I believe is a lifelong quest to just truly be the best you can be, regardless of the situational circumstances I find myself in. Thank you for your kind words, and for being a truly excellent friend. I love you very much!!
Adam and I had a conversation after I read to him the letter and he said to me, "well, you know he's right, right?" I guess I never really thought about it before, truly. Adam went on to say that while I was in the hospital I had floods of likes on his postings giving surgery updates and comments ranging in the 30+ for EACH posting that he put up. I can also say that since I've been out of the hospital the outpouring of support, love, friendship, etc. I have encountered has been greater than I ever hoped for. I feel like you're all on this journey with me, doing it with me, and we are all learning from each other. Thank you for your kind words, and your support. It means the world to me.
On that note, thanks to all out there for the awesome birthday wishes! I appreciate all of you and just know that while you have called me an inspiration for you, you truly are all inspirations to me while traveling through this weight loss crusade.
Huge hugs, and a wonderful day to each of you!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Birthday Dinner With The Family - Wonderful!
Today was a great day because I got to spend most of it with Adam and my Mom and Dad. My birthday is tomorrow, but I have plans with friends and won't be able to see my parents. So, after getting our snow tires swapped with our summer tires today, Adam and I spent the day with my parents.
They took us to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, Francesca's Campagna (http://www.miafrancesca.com/static.asp?path=3115,3245). I figured I tackled Panera last night, I should be ok to try something else as long as I remember, soft foods Sven, soft foods (lol).
I am so happy to say I was able to eat everything just fine, and it was so awesome! For an appetizer we ordered their four cheese pizza. It's on super thin crust and the slices are small. It had marscapone, mozzarella, blue, and swiss cheeses on it. It has this little bit of pesto sauce and also marinara sauce with spices. Before my Mom and I could eat a whole one by ourselves AND the entire meal we would get (or at least 3/4 of it). Tonight I had one small slice, eating all the toppings and 1/2 the crust. I then took the toppings off a second slice and ate those (keep in mind, one forkful = the toppings since the slices are very small) :). Then, it was on to the main course! I ordered tilapia with shrimp topped with sea beans, roasted plum tomatoes, all in a lobster cream sauce. I told the waitress I had surgery and needed a smaller portion if possible. They were so accommodating - they gave me 1/2 a portion and took 10 bucks off the price of the entree :D Score! The shrimp was great, the tilapia was great, and I had a bite of the tomato. I didn't like the flavor and texture of the sea beans so I didn't eat them. (I've had sea beans before, and they were very good - these just tasted too much like green beans and the texture was fibrous). In any event, I ate about 1/2 of the 1/2 portion that I was served. All I had to drink was probably 3 sips of water after the meal. I was very satisfied, not super full, and I was so happy I was able to enjoy great food on my birthday. I have the leftovers in the fridge for lunch tomorrow :). As a dessert treat, I am making mint chocolate chip protein ice cream for me and Adam when he gets home from the grocery store later :D!
The reason I went into all of these details is because I want any of my followers that are considering surgery (or post op) to know that you CAN still enjoy great food from your favorite restaurants. It just means you have to make better choices than you did before. As an example, I didn't gorge myself on a loaf of bread with oil and cheese. I didn't drink three tea/lemonades in addition to a glass of Moscato wine. I was responsible, patient, chewed my food very well, and made sure to enjoy what I was eating. I have zero guilt since, at most, I ate about 200 calories or so worth of food, low fat, high protein, and low sugar.
Thanks to my Mom and Dad for the wonderful card and birthday present :) I love you both so much and appreciate all that you do for me, even at my "young" age of 34 ;-)
Hugs to all out there!
They took us to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, Francesca's Campagna (http://www.miafrancesca.com/static.asp?path=3115,3245). I figured I tackled Panera last night, I should be ok to try something else as long as I remember, soft foods Sven, soft foods (lol).
I am so happy to say I was able to eat everything just fine, and it was so awesome! For an appetizer we ordered their four cheese pizza. It's on super thin crust and the slices are small. It had marscapone, mozzarella, blue, and swiss cheeses on it. It has this little bit of pesto sauce and also marinara sauce with spices. Before my Mom and I could eat a whole one by ourselves AND the entire meal we would get (or at least 3/4 of it). Tonight I had one small slice, eating all the toppings and 1/2 the crust. I then took the toppings off a second slice and ate those (keep in mind, one forkful = the toppings since the slices are very small) :). Then, it was on to the main course! I ordered tilapia with shrimp topped with sea beans, roasted plum tomatoes, all in a lobster cream sauce. I told the waitress I had surgery and needed a smaller portion if possible. They were so accommodating - they gave me 1/2 a portion and took 10 bucks off the price of the entree :D Score! The shrimp was great, the tilapia was great, and I had a bite of the tomato. I didn't like the flavor and texture of the sea beans so I didn't eat them. (I've had sea beans before, and they were very good - these just tasted too much like green beans and the texture was fibrous). In any event, I ate about 1/2 of the 1/2 portion that I was served. All I had to drink was probably 3 sips of water after the meal. I was very satisfied, not super full, and I was so happy I was able to enjoy great food on my birthday. I have the leftovers in the fridge for lunch tomorrow :). As a dessert treat, I am making mint chocolate chip protein ice cream for me and Adam when he gets home from the grocery store later :D!
The reason I went into all of these details is because I want any of my followers that are considering surgery (or post op) to know that you CAN still enjoy great food from your favorite restaurants. It just means you have to make better choices than you did before. As an example, I didn't gorge myself on a loaf of bread with oil and cheese. I didn't drink three tea/lemonades in addition to a glass of Moscato wine. I was responsible, patient, chewed my food very well, and made sure to enjoy what I was eating. I have zero guilt since, at most, I ate about 200 calories or so worth of food, low fat, high protein, and low sugar.
Thanks to my Mom and Dad for the wonderful card and birthday present :) I love you both so much and appreciate all that you do for me, even at my "young" age of 34 ;-)
Hugs to all out there!
Friday, March 23, 2012
A Crazy, Wonderful, Fantastic Day of New Firsts!
Well, I am at the point that I am now on the soft foods phase of my diet. I tried a bunch of different things today, and I am so happy to say I was able to go through all of them without a problem :D YAY!
Let's see - so the day started out with my friend from work Corie bringing over some birthday gifts from her, my management peers, and my team. It was so wonderful and thoughtful of all of them! I got a gift certificate to Panera and one to Barnes and Noble, among a bunch of cards. It was awesome! I had a little bit of hot cereal, but after eating it for a few weeks I am getting tired of it lol.
I then went to go renew my driver's license (since it expired in two days lol). I took the written test (HUGE JOKE LOL) and only missed one question =P. All in all it went very well hehe. After the DMV I was hungry and did something I am completely ashamed of (not because of what I ate, but WHERE I ate). I went to Chick-Fil-A because 1) I was hardcore craving grilled chicken, and 2) It was really close by. I completely hate what they stand for (anti-gay culture, Prop 8 supporters, etc.). Anyway, I bought a grilled chicken sandwich, no bun, and a cup of their new chicken tortilla soup. HOLY SHIT that soup was amazing and SUPER healthy - tons of fiber, tons of protein, low fat, etc. It was really thick - almost like chili. Anyway, I ended up eating about 1/3 of the chicken breast and 1/2 a cup of soup. Super yummy!
After I got home I played some video games and then did some homework. When Adam got home we went to dinner (our first dinner out since surgery). We went to Panera (of course) and I was very apprehensive (in my mind) because I have always heard bread is horribly difficult to deal with after bypass for some people. So, I figured it's now or never lol - I ordered 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of broccoli cheddar soup. It also came with a big piece of bread. I knew I'd only be able to have a little of everything, but I wanted to, I don't know, feel like a normal person again? lol :) So, we sat down, and I took a bite of the grilled cheese (no crust, just the inside part - it was on a high fiber whole wheat bread). Chewed about 40 times (no joke), swallowed, waited.... totally completely 100% fine :D!!! SCORE! I had a few bites of soup. Totally fine. I took a few bites of the regular french bread (just the inside part) dipped in the soup - totally fine. After about two more bites of the grilled cheese I was stuffed and had to stop. I was able to eat about 1/2 of the 1/2 sandwich, 1/3 cup of soup, and two bites (small) of the french bread. I didn't have any liquids with it (later on I had unsweetened Acai tea). In any event, I feel great and had zero problems. YAY! I am so happy! Not just because I can eat bread, but happy because I am totally satisfied and had such a small amount.
Today was a great, fantastic day! :-)
Hugs to all, and cheers to healthy eating! :D
OH - and more big news - I am down almost 60 lbs lol :D Not bad for 4 weeks LOL :D Whee!
Let's see - so the day started out with my friend from work Corie bringing over some birthday gifts from her, my management peers, and my team. It was so wonderful and thoughtful of all of them! I got a gift certificate to Panera and one to Barnes and Noble, among a bunch of cards. It was awesome! I had a little bit of hot cereal, but after eating it for a few weeks I am getting tired of it lol.
I then went to go renew my driver's license (since it expired in two days lol). I took the written test (HUGE JOKE LOL) and only missed one question =P. All in all it went very well hehe. After the DMV I was hungry and did something I am completely ashamed of (not because of what I ate, but WHERE I ate). I went to Chick-Fil-A because 1) I was hardcore craving grilled chicken, and 2) It was really close by. I completely hate what they stand for (anti-gay culture, Prop 8 supporters, etc.). Anyway, I bought a grilled chicken sandwich, no bun, and a cup of their new chicken tortilla soup. HOLY SHIT that soup was amazing and SUPER healthy - tons of fiber, tons of protein, low fat, etc. It was really thick - almost like chili. Anyway, I ended up eating about 1/3 of the chicken breast and 1/2 a cup of soup. Super yummy!
After I got home I played some video games and then did some homework. When Adam got home we went to dinner (our first dinner out since surgery). We went to Panera (of course) and I was very apprehensive (in my mind) because I have always heard bread is horribly difficult to deal with after bypass for some people. So, I figured it's now or never lol - I ordered 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of broccoli cheddar soup. It also came with a big piece of bread. I knew I'd only be able to have a little of everything, but I wanted to, I don't know, feel like a normal person again? lol :) So, we sat down, and I took a bite of the grilled cheese (no crust, just the inside part - it was on a high fiber whole wheat bread). Chewed about 40 times (no joke), swallowed, waited.... totally completely 100% fine :D!!! SCORE! I had a few bites of soup. Totally fine. I took a few bites of the regular french bread (just the inside part) dipped in the soup - totally fine. After about two more bites of the grilled cheese I was stuffed and had to stop. I was able to eat about 1/2 of the 1/2 sandwich, 1/3 cup of soup, and two bites (small) of the french bread. I didn't have any liquids with it (later on I had unsweetened Acai tea). In any event, I feel great and had zero problems. YAY! I am so happy! Not just because I can eat bread, but happy because I am totally satisfied and had such a small amount.
Today was a great, fantastic day! :-)
Hugs to all, and cheers to healthy eating! :D
OH - and more big news - I am down almost 60 lbs lol :D Not bad for 4 weeks LOL :D Whee!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Fit Frappe, You Are My Hero!!!
Ok so, my friend Mandy told me about her favorite kind of protein powder. It is from a vendor called "Fit Frappe". It's the same price as the others out there ($59 bucks a tub) but they had a sample pack for like 15 bucks I ordered last week. It arrived today. O M F G it is SO GOOD. I made the chocolate peanut butter protein ice cream again and HOLY SHIZ it is divine! It tastes exactly like ice cream I would get from Culvers or some other place. It has a smooth, velvety consistency. I even added in cut up pieces of sugar free Hershey's Caramel Bars but honestly, it didn't need it at all. It's so yumz! I plan on making the mint chocolate chip one next :) Sounds YUMMZ! Mandy, you rock!
Here is the website if anyone wants to try it out (you won't be disappointed!)
Here is the website if anyone wants to try it out (you won't be disappointed!)
Also I'm including a pic of what I made :D Be jealous =P lol
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Another Birthday Right Around the Corner
Well, just like that, I am almost another year older. I turn 34 years old on Sunday and am neither here nor there about it. I am sure it will be a fun day, but not something I am jumping out of my skin to rush towards. One thing I need to do is renew my driver's license tomorrow. I need to study for the damn written test though haha :P
I finished the first book of The Hunger Games trilogy and am about 125 pages into the second book. It is a phenomenal series It is labeled as a "kid's" book. Ok, I call bullshit LOL. This book is very graphic in nature, and I personally don't think it's suitable for anyone under 16. For those that don't know, the basic story is it is set in a "post apocalyptic" style America, where everything is set up into 12 districts and the main city, The Capitol. Basically every year, as punishment for the now destroyed District 13's uprising, and a reminder that The Capitol's law is absolute, they hold the Hunger Games. Each district must put forth a boy and a girl between 12-18 years of age (randomly picked). The 24 "Tributes" from the districts go to The Capitol, are interviewed, treated like celebrities, etc. and trained until at the end of the week they are all put in an arena with each other and have one goal - to be the last one standing. They all must try to kill each other. The arena is huge, and the games go on for weeks. It's quite insane, graphic, but gripping. I couldn't put it down and read almost the entire book in one day. I'm enjoying reading through the second book.
In terms of food, I am still plugging along, trying new things. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend at McDonald's. We both had happy meals, but I gave her all of mine except my "bunless" cheeseburger lol :P I ate the burger patty, slice of cheese, the two pickle slices, minced onions, and ketchup. I ended up able to eat it within 30 or so minutes and had some unsweetened tea about 30 minutes later. All in all I did ok :). I had some refried beans with cheese and taco sauce for dinner, but could only do like 3 bites or so. Today I've had 1/2 a carnation breakfast for breakfast and a cup of "Chicken Gumbo" soup for lunch. It was from Culvers, very healthy actually, but super boring. It was like drinking tomato broth with a tiny bit of celery and ONE piece of chicken (LOL). All in all I was like "meh" by the end of the meal.
I am LOVING my 1/2 Gold Leaf iced tea, 1/2 Minute Maid Light Lemonade drink I have all the time now. like 10 calories and amazing :D
As for dinner, I have no idea what I'm going to have. Maybe some plain Chobani yogurt and some strawberries. Not really feeling anything else tonight. Just kinda blah when it comes to food lately. I know I have to eat, just not starving for anything (except my friend Danny's queso dip - omg I could eat that every day and it doesn't make me sick at all lol).
Hugs to all, and stay healthy! :-D
I finished the first book of The Hunger Games trilogy and am about 125 pages into the second book. It is a phenomenal series It is labeled as a "kid's" book. Ok, I call bullshit LOL. This book is very graphic in nature, and I personally don't think it's suitable for anyone under 16. For those that don't know, the basic story is it is set in a "post apocalyptic" style America, where everything is set up into 12 districts and the main city, The Capitol. Basically every year, as punishment for the now destroyed District 13's uprising, and a reminder that The Capitol's law is absolute, they hold the Hunger Games. Each district must put forth a boy and a girl between 12-18 years of age (randomly picked). The 24 "Tributes" from the districts go to The Capitol, are interviewed, treated like celebrities, etc. and trained until at the end of the week they are all put in an arena with each other and have one goal - to be the last one standing. They all must try to kill each other. The arena is huge, and the games go on for weeks. It's quite insane, graphic, but gripping. I couldn't put it down and read almost the entire book in one day. I'm enjoying reading through the second book.
In terms of food, I am still plugging along, trying new things. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend at McDonald's. We both had happy meals, but I gave her all of mine except my "bunless" cheeseburger lol :P I ate the burger patty, slice of cheese, the two pickle slices, minced onions, and ketchup. I ended up able to eat it within 30 or so minutes and had some unsweetened tea about 30 minutes later. All in all I did ok :). I had some refried beans with cheese and taco sauce for dinner, but could only do like 3 bites or so. Today I've had 1/2 a carnation breakfast for breakfast and a cup of "Chicken Gumbo" soup for lunch. It was from Culvers, very healthy actually, but super boring. It was like drinking tomato broth with a tiny bit of celery and ONE piece of chicken (LOL). All in all I was like "meh" by the end of the meal.
I am LOVING my 1/2 Gold Leaf iced tea, 1/2 Minute Maid Light Lemonade drink I have all the time now. like 10 calories and amazing :D
As for dinner, I have no idea what I'm going to have. Maybe some plain Chobani yogurt and some strawberries. Not really feeling anything else tonight. Just kinda blah when it comes to food lately. I know I have to eat, just not starving for anything (except my friend Danny's queso dip - omg I could eat that every day and it doesn't make me sick at all lol).
Hugs to all, and stay healthy! :-D
Monday, March 19, 2012
Adios Surgical Drain, Don't Write Me... Ever
Today was a glorious day! I got the surgical drain taken out :D YEAH! I also was told by the doctor that I should have taken the bandage strips off of my scars a week ago to let them breathe. WTF? That's not what they told me in the hospital -_-. They told me I should replace them every few days and wash them (and the drain site) to avoid infection. In any event, they said everything was fine and the lady put Neosporin on both drain sites, and covered them with surgical gauze. It's really gross to know I have this gaping hole in my body now, but yeah - it will eventually scab over and become a scar. Sounds fun right :D? haha
Eating yesterday was a bit of a mixed bag. I felt like I barely ate anything at all yesterday. With water still making me nauseous, I wasn't in the mood to really eat or drink yesterday. I had some yogurt, etc. I am finding fresh strawberries and cantaloupe are my new BFFs and I am eating those quite often :).
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering - protein peanut butter chocolate ice cream was... GROSS LOL :P It's that horrible Bariatric Advantage protein powder. BLEH. The new Fit Frappe stuff I ordered should be here by Wednesday, so I am going to try it again with that stuff. Let's hope it's awesome lol :P
As far as today goes, I felt like I ate a lot (but of course, really didn't lol). For breakfast I had a carnation instant breakfast with some cantaloupe. For lunch I had 1/2 of a hot dog (just the hot dog, no bun). For dinner I had a lot actually - I had a few bites of guacamole, a few bites of this queso dip my friend made (and I had two tortilla chips and did FINE :D I preferred to eat it off the spoon (it's that good >.> and not a ton of fat or anything at all)). I also had a bit of the chicken and some of the onions (like two bites) - it was good, but the chicken was a tad dry after sitting for a bit (wasn't hungry right away) and the last thing a bypass patient wants is meat that is dry. So, I only ate a bit. I will say, I ate a bit too much and felt really full for a while after. Lots of water (and vitamin water) later, I am much better hehe :).
I went grocery shopping tonight with my friend Danny. I found this awesome unsweetened tea by my favorite tea brand (Gold Leaf) and then Danny found this 2g of sugar Minute Maid Light Lemonade. I can still have my Arnold Palmer drink and not feel gross :D YAY!
Tonight I was speaking to a friend who is having lap band surgery in the next 30 days. I just wanted to throw a shout out to her and say you are amazing, beautiful, and inspiring. You will be just fine and know I am here for you should you ever need someone to talk to about this. I am so proud of you! Keep smiling, and to all the "haters" out there throwing you some shade, push them aside girl - they aren't worth your time. You are doing this for YOU, never forget that :-) HUGE HUGS! :D
Eating yesterday was a bit of a mixed bag. I felt like I barely ate anything at all yesterday. With water still making me nauseous, I wasn't in the mood to really eat or drink yesterday. I had some yogurt, etc. I am finding fresh strawberries and cantaloupe are my new BFFs and I am eating those quite often :).
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering - protein peanut butter chocolate ice cream was... GROSS LOL :P It's that horrible Bariatric Advantage protein powder. BLEH. The new Fit Frappe stuff I ordered should be here by Wednesday, so I am going to try it again with that stuff. Let's hope it's awesome lol :P
As far as today goes, I felt like I ate a lot (but of course, really didn't lol). For breakfast I had a carnation instant breakfast with some cantaloupe. For lunch I had 1/2 of a hot dog (just the hot dog, no bun). For dinner I had a lot actually - I had a few bites of guacamole, a few bites of this queso dip my friend made (and I had two tortilla chips and did FINE :D I preferred to eat it off the spoon (it's that good >.> and not a ton of fat or anything at all)). I also had a bit of the chicken and some of the onions (like two bites) - it was good, but the chicken was a tad dry after sitting for a bit (wasn't hungry right away) and the last thing a bypass patient wants is meat that is dry. So, I only ate a bit. I will say, I ate a bit too much and felt really full for a while after. Lots of water (and vitamin water) later, I am much better hehe :).
I went grocery shopping tonight with my friend Danny. I found this awesome unsweetened tea by my favorite tea brand (Gold Leaf) and then Danny found this 2g of sugar Minute Maid Light Lemonade. I can still have my Arnold Palmer drink and not feel gross :D YAY!
Tonight I was speaking to a friend who is having lap band surgery in the next 30 days. I just wanted to throw a shout out to her and say you are amazing, beautiful, and inspiring. You will be just fine and know I am here for you should you ever need someone to talk to about this. I am so proud of you! Keep smiling, and to all the "haters" out there throwing you some shade, push them aside girl - they aren't worth your time. You are doing this for YOU, never forget that :-) HUGE HUGS! :D
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Ice Cream, You Scream...
Overall today was a kind of relaxing day. I had some pain today, probably from exerting myself like a doorknob. In any event, I decided two take it much easier this afternoon.
Our apartment cleaner came over today to clean the apartment. It coats about 60-75 every two weeks, but man is it worth it! She does a really good job, and right now I definitely cannot do any housework.
I still feel queasy whenever I drink water which totally sucks, but overall I did ok with food today. I introduced a new food for dinner - mashed potatoes with a bit of shredded light cheddar cheese. Went down no problem and kept me very full.
I decided to use the protein powder I have, begrudgingly, to make Reese's peanut butter ice cream for dessert. It's spinning in the machine right now, but it looks awesome! I don't have high hopes since I hate the Optisource protein powder I have, but it will work for now until I get the Fit Frappe stuff I ordered online next week. I am even adding chopped up sugar free Reese's peanut butter cups to the machine at the end of the churning process. I'll let you know how it goes :-)
Also, I'm so proud of Adam! He's been eating super healthy lately too. For dinner tonight he had hard boiled eggs, cantaloupe, a Chobani yogurt, and a nutrigrain bar. I am ordering us bento boxes from Amazon.com so we can be more health conscious about what we take to work to eat, etc.
Eat healthy all!
Our apartment cleaner came over today to clean the apartment. It coats about 60-75 every two weeks, but man is it worth it! She does a really good job, and right now I definitely cannot do any housework.
I still feel queasy whenever I drink water which totally sucks, but overall I did ok with food today. I introduced a new food for dinner - mashed potatoes with a bit of shredded light cheddar cheese. Went down no problem and kept me very full.
I decided to use the protein powder I have, begrudgingly, to make Reese's peanut butter ice cream for dessert. It's spinning in the machine right now, but it looks awesome! I don't have high hopes since I hate the Optisource protein powder I have, but it will work for now until I get the Fit Frappe stuff I ordered online next week. I am even adding chopped up sugar free Reese's peanut butter cups to the machine at the end of the churning process. I'll let you know how it goes :-)
Also, I'm so proud of Adam! He's been eating super healthy lately too. For dinner tonight he had hard boiled eggs, cantaloupe, a Chobani yogurt, and a nutrigrain bar. I am ordering us bento boxes from Amazon.com so we can be more health conscious about what we take to work to eat, etc.
Eat healthy all!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Chinese food - Yay!
I ended up ordering Chinese food for dinner tonight to see how I would react. I had chicken with broccoli. I did just fine, especially considering how moist the meat and veggies were. I chewed them until they were basically blended consistency. Other than that I also ordered egg drop soup but I was only able to eat a few bites of dinner, thus the soup and leftovers will have to wait until tomorrow.
Other than that, I felt kinda sickies again tonight. Bleh. Let's hope that it passes over the next few days. In any event I'm off to bed. Night all.
Fit Frappe?
Has anyone ever heard of Fit Frappe? My friend Mandy told me about it. Basically it is a protein powder that is flavored in one of five flavors (chocolate, vanilla, mocha, vanilla latte, espresso). It is expensive (60 bucks a tub) so I decided to order the 18.00 "trial" package with 10 servings (2 of each flavor). Since I can only do about 4oz at a time, that's perfect for me (20 servings =P). It should be here by mid next week. I'll let you all know how it is.
All I know is I need some yummy kind of protein powder that is good, not this Optisource protein powder from hell (that I am dying to give to someone to get out of my house lol).
All I know is I need some yummy kind of protein powder that is good, not this Optisource protein powder from hell (that I am dying to give to someone to get out of my house lol).
Kinda sick today, off and on ~
Hmm - so I have no idea what I ate today, but I felt kinda crappy for most of the day. Honestly, I think it was just some kind of gas pocket that got stuck in my pouch or something, but let's go over what I ate today:
Breakfast - 3/4 glass of Carnation Instant Breakfast
Medication - Crushed blood pressure and cholesterol pill. All of my multivitamins. Two crushed Tylenol
Lunch - 1/2 a bowl of Cream of Wheat
Snack - 1 hard boiled egg
That's all I've had today (in addition to about 2 bottles of water). I was talking to my mom on Facetime, trying to help her fix her printer. I realized I hadn't eaten anything in over four hours and needed to eat something. So, I took a few bites of a hardboiled egg, chewed very very well. The minute they hit my pouch I had this super full feeling and I am 99% sure it was gas that had been sitting in my stomach. In any event, I hung up with my Mom and proceeded to do everything I could to burp it out (lol). I drank water to try and force it out, etc. Finally I ended up swallowing some air, which of course gave me hiccups, but it did seem to get rid of the gas. Once the hiccups went away I felt much better.
In any event it was a weird feeling overall. I was able to eat the rest of the hard boiled egg after and had no problems.
My nausea continues to stick around whenever I drink water. Ugh, so frustrating. Water is something I not only need, but I also LOVE. I know some people get this water nausea problem after surgery, and it lasts for up to six months, but I am just praying mine goes away soon. I really miss water Q_Q lol - I still drink it, but hate how I feel afterwards Q_Q
Breakfast - 3/4 glass of Carnation Instant Breakfast
Medication - Crushed blood pressure and cholesterol pill. All of my multivitamins. Two crushed Tylenol
Lunch - 1/2 a bowl of Cream of Wheat
Snack - 1 hard boiled egg
That's all I've had today (in addition to about 2 bottles of water). I was talking to my mom on Facetime, trying to help her fix her printer. I realized I hadn't eaten anything in over four hours and needed to eat something. So, I took a few bites of a hardboiled egg, chewed very very well. The minute they hit my pouch I had this super full feeling and I am 99% sure it was gas that had been sitting in my stomach. In any event, I hung up with my Mom and proceeded to do everything I could to burp it out (lol). I drank water to try and force it out, etc. Finally I ended up swallowing some air, which of course gave me hiccups, but it did seem to get rid of the gas. Once the hiccups went away I felt much better.
In any event it was a weird feeling overall. I was able to eat the rest of the hard boiled egg after and had no problems.
My nausea continues to stick around whenever I drink water. Ugh, so frustrating. Water is something I not only need, but I also LOVE. I know some people get this water nausea problem after surgery, and it lasts for up to six months, but I am just praying mine goes away soon. I really miss water Q_Q lol - I still drink it, but hate how I feel afterwards Q_Q
Splurge Time!
So I got some good news yesterday from my financial aid. I got a 2000 dollar refund that I apparently overpaid for this session. What am I doing? Buying a 32 GB white " New iPad " for At&T 4G LTE lol. I just sold my Galaxy Tab 8.9 on ebay to be able to buy it. Don't fret, though, as I'm being responsible and using the other money to pay off bills lol
Whee!
I also wanted to add, I didn't just get the "New iPad" for me. When I got home I returned the iPad 2 Adam had bought for himself last week and upgraded him to the "New iPad" also :-) ~ I also told him to go ahead and buy the modeling airbrush he wanted. He's a happy guy now, and I am too :)
This iPad is just insane :D I completely love it :).
Whee!
I also wanted to add, I didn't just get the "New iPad" for me. When I got home I returned the iPad 2 Adam had bought for himself last week and upgraded him to the "New iPad" also :-) ~ I also told him to go ahead and buy the modeling airbrush he wanted. He's a happy guy now, and I am too :)
This iPad is just insane :D I completely love it :).
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Pretty Good Day All Around
Today was a good day, for the most part. I did have a bit of a challenge with something I ate, but I'll get to that in a little bit.
Lately when I get up in the morning I am finding that if I eat something right away I prefer it to be liquid. My friend Mandy tells me it is because of how the blood in our body distributes throughout the evening, thus the pouch is smaller and liquids are easier on it. Since I don't always eat right away I tend to prefer something with a bit more substance to keep me full longer than just liquid (like Carnation, etc.). When I saw the surgeon the other day he told me not to get very used to eating mushy/liquidy food. That is just for now. Eventually I will want to eat more dense, fibrous, harder food that takes longer to go through my pouch. Makes total sense, of course. I have found that, for now, cream of wheat works really well for me. I made a single packet and was full after only three or four bites. I didn't even eat the other half of the bowl because I was still satisfied over an hour later.
Another small victory today - when I head out to run a few errands today, and got into my car for the first time since before surgery, I found that my seat needed to be adjusted because I was so far from the wheel :...). I no longer have to have the seat tilted all the way back, and pushed all the way back. I put the back up and moved the seat forward a few inches. It was quite awesome. Two "ah ha" moments in just two days (the former being able to drive my father's car for the first time since I was able to actually fit in the driver's seat).
I forgot so much stuff at my parent's house yesterday so they were gracious enough to bring it over tonight for me. To say thanks I told them I would cook them dinner. So, I made my version of breakfast burritos for them. I had tortillas, a few english muffins, scrambled eggs with chopped up bacon and cheese, and a few condiments for them (avocado, taco sauce, cheese, etc.). Since there is no way I can eat that food right now, I took some of the scrambled egg/bacon mixture, gave it a quick blend, and ate that. Hmm. Here we now have a problem. It seemed to go down ok, but I just felt kinda "blah" after eating it. I talked to a friend and she also mentioned she has a problem with scrambled eggs - something about the texture. I know I am fine with eggs - I've already had soft boiled eggs, hard boiled eggs, and egg salad so I know that the food itself I am fine with. It may have been the bacon, but I barely ate any of it. Either way, I didn't like the way it made me feel and will not be eating either of those again, at least not until I'm ready for all kinds of food. I will stick to other preparations of eggs. The next one I am going to try is my favorite type of egg - poached :). I will try that in the next few weeks and share how it makes me feel.
My ice cream maker arrived today :). I am excited to try and make the chocolate peanut butter cup protein ice cream from Shelley's eggface website. It sounds so amazing! There is no way, however, I will be using the horrible Optisource protein powder. Mandy tells me she knows of a phenomenal protein powder. She is sending me the details tomorrow and I am ordering it first chance I get :) OH! I also finally found the Torani Sugar Free Syrups. Adam tried to find them for me at like five different grocery stores and couldn't find them anywhere. I got a variety six pack on Amazon.com for something like $30.00 bucks shipped. Chocolate, Vanilla, Caramel, Raspberry, and two other flavors. If these are good I am going to order the Torani sugar free holiday edition syrups. Peppermint, hazelnut, gingerbread, vanilla bean, etc. YUM!
Other than that, today was a good day overall. It was nice going out and driving my own car for the first time in almost a month. It was also nice going to a fast food place (Wendy's) and only ordering a small unsweetened iced tea with lemon. When I pulled up to the window the guy was like, "did you want anything else", looking at me like "there is no way you just want tea". If I wasn't a gentleman I'd have punched the 17 year old, pimple faced kid right then and there. However, I politely smiled and said "nope, this is perfect, thanks :)". You know me - always trying to kill em with kindness =P
Hugs to all!
Lately when I get up in the morning I am finding that if I eat something right away I prefer it to be liquid. My friend Mandy tells me it is because of how the blood in our body distributes throughout the evening, thus the pouch is smaller and liquids are easier on it. Since I don't always eat right away I tend to prefer something with a bit more substance to keep me full longer than just liquid (like Carnation, etc.). When I saw the surgeon the other day he told me not to get very used to eating mushy/liquidy food. That is just for now. Eventually I will want to eat more dense, fibrous, harder food that takes longer to go through my pouch. Makes total sense, of course. I have found that, for now, cream of wheat works really well for me. I made a single packet and was full after only three or four bites. I didn't even eat the other half of the bowl because I was still satisfied over an hour later.
Another small victory today - when I head out to run a few errands today, and got into my car for the first time since before surgery, I found that my seat needed to be adjusted because I was so far from the wheel :...). I no longer have to have the seat tilted all the way back, and pushed all the way back. I put the back up and moved the seat forward a few inches. It was quite awesome. Two "ah ha" moments in just two days (the former being able to drive my father's car for the first time since I was able to actually fit in the driver's seat).
I forgot so much stuff at my parent's house yesterday so they were gracious enough to bring it over tonight for me. To say thanks I told them I would cook them dinner. So, I made my version of breakfast burritos for them. I had tortillas, a few english muffins, scrambled eggs with chopped up bacon and cheese, and a few condiments for them (avocado, taco sauce, cheese, etc.). Since there is no way I can eat that food right now, I took some of the scrambled egg/bacon mixture, gave it a quick blend, and ate that. Hmm. Here we now have a problem. It seemed to go down ok, but I just felt kinda "blah" after eating it. I talked to a friend and she also mentioned she has a problem with scrambled eggs - something about the texture. I know I am fine with eggs - I've already had soft boiled eggs, hard boiled eggs, and egg salad so I know that the food itself I am fine with. It may have been the bacon, but I barely ate any of it. Either way, I didn't like the way it made me feel and will not be eating either of those again, at least not until I'm ready for all kinds of food. I will stick to other preparations of eggs. The next one I am going to try is my favorite type of egg - poached :). I will try that in the next few weeks and share how it makes me feel.
My ice cream maker arrived today :). I am excited to try and make the chocolate peanut butter cup protein ice cream from Shelley's eggface website. It sounds so amazing! There is no way, however, I will be using the horrible Optisource protein powder. Mandy tells me she knows of a phenomenal protein powder. She is sending me the details tomorrow and I am ordering it first chance I get :) OH! I also finally found the Torani Sugar Free Syrups. Adam tried to find them for me at like five different grocery stores and couldn't find them anywhere. I got a variety six pack on Amazon.com for something like $30.00 bucks shipped. Chocolate, Vanilla, Caramel, Raspberry, and two other flavors. If these are good I am going to order the Torani sugar free holiday edition syrups. Peppermint, hazelnut, gingerbread, vanilla bean, etc. YUM!
Other than that, today was a good day overall. It was nice going out and driving my own car for the first time in almost a month. It was also nice going to a fast food place (Wendy's) and only ordering a small unsweetened iced tea with lemon. When I pulled up to the window the guy was like, "did you want anything else", looking at me like "there is no way you just want tea". If I wasn't a gentleman I'd have punched the 17 year old, pimple faced kid right then and there. However, I politely smiled and said "nope, this is perfect, thanks :)". You know me - always trying to kill em with kindness =P
Hugs to all!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Little Victories :...)
Share time!!! So what I am finding is more rewarding than anything else are the small victories.
I was able to drive my dad's car today for the first time... ever. I have never been able to fit until today. My God, three weeks in to this crusade and I feel like I have accomplished so much. Imagine where I'll be in a year :-)
Rewarding myself with a Mani/pedi with my Mom :-]
#singingontheinside
Great News Day Today!
Today has been a quite excellent day! First off, my total weight loss since the pre surgical diet is 46 lbs :-) Very surreal! On a second note, effective today I have been taken off of one of my blood pressure meds - permanently :-)
To say I am surprised by how quickly I am being taken off of my meds is so an understatement. I had to ask the doctor if she was completely sure that it was OK I was taken off of it so quickly. She said my BP was taken three times in a row and it was 100/60 each time with pulse of 60. She said yes, definitely Haha. It makes me super happy, truly. Maybe in the next few months I can be taken off the other one.
I still have a little bit of pain today from all of the bending I did yesterday. Ugh. I have learned my lesson that I am NOT Superman, and there is a reason my doctor has signed me off work for the next 5 weeks - TO REST. LOL
I did find out I won't be able to get my surgical drain taken out until Monday of next week. Blahhh! Pain for another few days! Mur.
We did go to Olive Garden for lunch today :-) I had a blended pasta fagioli soup and a glass of iced tea. Granted, I took most of it home, it was nice to feel normal again, eating out with my family :-]
My parents drove me to all of my appointments today. They've been awesome and I appreciate all that they have done for me :-)
I have included a picture of my lovely mother in this posting :-). Without her I would be so lost. I love you Mom!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Childhood Memories
I think some of my most fond childhood memories are having breakfast on a Saturday morning with my Grandfather and my mother. My Mom made the BEST Cream of Wheat and I remember enjoying those Saturday mornings with her and my Grandfather, laughing about what happened during the week, planning school stuff for the next week, etc. True to be told, she used to put a TON of both white and brown sugar in it, as well as heaping amounts of butter. My Mom never really does anything small - it's either go huge (as in calories) or go home. I can't fault her for it, though, because that Cream of Wheat was amazing :-).
Today I am sitting here, enjoying a bowl of Cream of Wheat (this time with a bit of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" and a few teaspoons of Splenda), remembering times past, and having a big smile on my face :)
Happy Tuesday everyone!
Monday, March 12, 2012
My First Recipe! Bariatric Friendly Crab Dip / Crab Roll Stuffing
Hey all,
I wanted to make something good for Adam tonight (since he's been so good to me) but I wanted it to be healthy too, and something I could eat too after being attacked by a blender (haha). Here's what I came up with :D Hope you like it!
I wanted to make something good for Adam tonight (since he's been so good to me) but I wanted it to be healthy too, and something I could eat too after being attacked by a blender (haha). Here's what I came up with :D Hope you like it!
**************
Bariatric Friendly Crab Dip / Crab Roll Stuffing
* 8oz package of imitation (or real lump) crab
* 1/3 package light cream cheese (you can use regular, but
higher calories)
* 1 TBSP light mayo (you can use regular, but higher
calories)
* 1 TSP Lemon Juice
* 1/3 TSP Garlic Powder
* Dash of Salt and Pepper
* 1/2 bottle Hellmann's cocktail sauce (low sugar if
possible)
(note - you can add peppers, veggies, etc. to it if you
want - I prefer mine plain)
Put the crab in a bowl (don't worry if it is a big block -
you're about to mix it up :)). Using a fork (or a strong spatula) stir the crab
in the bowl, breaking it apart from the big lump into more individual small
pieces.
Next, add the (softened) cream cheese, mayo, lemon juice,
salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Using a fork start stiring/mashing everything
together until it is nice and creamy. Taste and see if you need to add any more
spices (you garlic lovers out there - be careful because remember, you are
going to let this set in the fridge for about an hour to chill - the garlic
flavor will become more prominent).
Once it tastes the way you want it to go ahead and sprinkle
a bit more lemon juice on top, cover with plastic wrap, and put in the fridge
to chill.
After it has chilled take it out of the fridge, take off
the plastic wrap, and cover the entire top with cocktail sauce (I used a
Helmann's low sugar one - was really good). You don't have to drench it - just
make sure it's dotted all over. Then, using the fork, smear the cocktail sauce
so the entire thing is covered.
Voila :-D That's it! Now you can either enjoy with
crackers, veggies, etc. or eat as is with a spoon. Another way is to make a
"crab roll" using hot dog buns. Again, try to use healthy buns (WE
LIKE THOSE HEALTHY BUNS :P haha) - seriously though, put the filling in the hot
dog buns and enjoy with some baked chips and your favorite drink :) It' s a
nice, satisfying, very low calorie/fat/sugar meal :).
The Pain Keeps on 'a Driftin' Away...
I really don't know how to explain it, but I am in the best of moods today. I found myself singing to both my dog and my cat today, replacing people's names in songs with their names (LOL). I also belted some Adele "Rollin' in the Deep" while I was in the shower (and was pretty good I might add >.> lol). I just feel like I have so much more energy lately. It's pretty awesome all around :).
Today was a breakfast of Carnation Instant Breakfast (that's starting to become the daily norm actually) followed a few hours later by a lunch of three bites of egg salad :). I think later today I might do a crab salad with cocktail sauce. Keeping it healthy, simple and easy to eat.
Adam is being awesome, as always, and he really likes his new iPad. I am so happy he got it instead of me. I am the first to admit, I like shiny new toys just like everyone else. However, Adam always puts me first and is usually stuck with whatever I stop using. He's been so wonderful throughout this entire crusade of mine I am glad he got something he really wants and really needs! He is starting at my alma mater (DeVry) for the next session. The entire class campus, as well as all of the books can be completely accessed from the iPad. It makes so much sense for him to have something like this (plus his phone and computer are both Apple whereas mine are Windows and Android :)
Speaking of Android, I got the new Droid Razr Maxx over the weekend and switched from Sprint to Verizon. I had no idea I would notice the difference in service, etc. but my God, there is a huge difference in speed and performance. Also, I got the Lapdock 500 Pro before I had surgery. Basically it's this laptop shell that my phone plugs into, turning it into a very functional laptop. That is what I am typing this on right now. It is completely integrated with the Google architecture and I just love it.
The bottom line is Adam is happy with his Apple stuff, but I choose to keep it for my work phone :). Everything I have is Android (and Windows).
Tell someone that you love them today. It feels so good to be able to express that (and have it expressed back to you in return). If you feel out there that nobody loves you just know that I love you and champion you on your quest for a smaller you :). If you are a supporter reading this then I love you too because without you others wouldn't feel special and loved :).
Have a great day all!
P.S. I did something today that was long overdue - I don't consider myself a "religious" person, but I definitely consider myself spiritual. I still pray to God, etc. when I can. I asked God before I went in for surgery to please watch over me, and in case something should happen please watch over Adam and both his and my family (well really, we're all one family now to be honest - I consider his parents my extended family and love them both very much). Anyway, today in the shower I took a few minutes to thank God for watching over me and helping me get through this. Don't worry - this blog isn't going to become a big religious sermon (lol). I do, however, believe that every now and then it's important to give some love to the big man upstairs, for without him I don't believe any of this would be possible.
:-) hugs!
Today was a breakfast of Carnation Instant Breakfast (that's starting to become the daily norm actually) followed a few hours later by a lunch of three bites of egg salad :). I think later today I might do a crab salad with cocktail sauce. Keeping it healthy, simple and easy to eat.
Adam is being awesome, as always, and he really likes his new iPad. I am so happy he got it instead of me. I am the first to admit, I like shiny new toys just like everyone else. However, Adam always puts me first and is usually stuck with whatever I stop using. He's been so wonderful throughout this entire crusade of mine I am glad he got something he really wants and really needs! He is starting at my alma mater (DeVry) for the next session. The entire class campus, as well as all of the books can be completely accessed from the iPad. It makes so much sense for him to have something like this (plus his phone and computer are both Apple whereas mine are Windows and Android :)
Speaking of Android, I got the new Droid Razr Maxx over the weekend and switched from Sprint to Verizon. I had no idea I would notice the difference in service, etc. but my God, there is a huge difference in speed and performance. Also, I got the Lapdock 500 Pro before I had surgery. Basically it's this laptop shell that my phone plugs into, turning it into a very functional laptop. That is what I am typing this on right now. It is completely integrated with the Google architecture and I just love it.
The bottom line is Adam is happy with his Apple stuff, but I choose to keep it for my work phone :). Everything I have is Android (and Windows).
Tell someone that you love them today. It feels so good to be able to express that (and have it expressed back to you in return). If you feel out there that nobody loves you just know that I love you and champion you on your quest for a smaller you :). If you are a supporter reading this then I love you too because without you others wouldn't feel special and loved :).
Have a great day all!
P.S. I did something today that was long overdue - I don't consider myself a "religious" person, but I definitely consider myself spiritual. I still pray to God, etc. when I can. I asked God before I went in for surgery to please watch over me, and in case something should happen please watch over Adam and both his and my family (well really, we're all one family now to be honest - I consider his parents my extended family and love them both very much). Anyway, today in the shower I took a few minutes to thank God for watching over me and helping me get through this. Don't worry - this blog isn't going to become a big religious sermon (lol). I do, however, believe that every now and then it's important to give some love to the big man upstairs, for without him I don't believe any of this would be possible.
:-) hugs!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
A Night of More Firsts
Okay, tonight was awesome! I was able to have cottage cheese and a little banana, and then I made a ricotta cheese, marinara sauce, and 4 cheese blend melted combo. I was able to eat all the food without any problem :-) granted, much smaller portions lol
I end the night with this lovely picture of the newest member of our family. Our friends Jon and James bought this for us, and also our friends Jeff and Brian brought flowers over.
"Her" name is Tess Tosterone and she is FIERCE! RuPaul would be proud! Condragulations Tess, you are the winner of tonight's challenge :-D!
Woo hoo!
Tuna came, tuna called, and I kicked its ass :-D. Tuna salad was NOMZ!!! :-D. So far so good!
The Wonderful World of Eggs
So I got up this morning pretty good overall. I made myself an entire carnation instant breakfast drink and, although it took me over an hour, I was able to finish it all with about 6oz of milk :). All in all that was pretty awesome, and it felt nice to not have to drink out of a dixie cup for once.
A few hours later I was really craving the same thing I've been craving for a while now - eggs. I had plans to make deviled egg salad today to have later, so I made two hard boiled eggs. See, that's the problem though - I ended up making a boo boo and made more like soft boiled eggs. Grrr! I didn't want the eggs to go to waste so I shelled them, put them in the Magic Bullet blender with a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper. I blended them for literally 3 seconds so they were smooth but not liquified. I thought to myself, "It's now or never" annnnd I took a bite. Then another bite, then another bite - NO PROBLEMS AT ALL :-D WOOHOO! I was able to only eat one of the two eggs I made, but it was so satisfying to be able to have an egg after not having one and craving one for so long :-D YAY!
So, now that I know I can tolerate it my next try at something is going to be either egg salad tomorrow, or tuna salad tonight. I plan on taking the tuna with about 1 teaspoon of light mayo and some pepper, mashing it all up with a fork, and eating it. I'll start introducing things like crackers into the mix in about a month. Until then, I am confident I will be fine with this healthy version of tuna salad :-). Om nom nom.
My friend also sent me a link to a wonderful blog site (http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com). Shelly has the most amazing recipes for stuff - I can't wait to try like all of them, especially the protein ice cream :-D hehe. She also has this idea for a ricotta bake I was excited to try (I had a similar idea, but it looks like she's already coined it and even put the recipe out there lol). I am going to be making a lot more meals from home, especially in the crock pot. I have a feeling Adam will appreciate more home cooked meals too, even if they are healthier :).
Well, I'm off to do some more homework. Eat healthy all!
A few hours later I was really craving the same thing I've been craving for a while now - eggs. I had plans to make deviled egg salad today to have later, so I made two hard boiled eggs. See, that's the problem though - I ended up making a boo boo and made more like soft boiled eggs. Grrr! I didn't want the eggs to go to waste so I shelled them, put them in the Magic Bullet blender with a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper. I blended them for literally 3 seconds so they were smooth but not liquified. I thought to myself, "It's now or never" annnnd I took a bite. Then another bite, then another bite - NO PROBLEMS AT ALL :-D WOOHOO! I was able to only eat one of the two eggs I made, but it was so satisfying to be able to have an egg after not having one and craving one for so long :-D YAY!
So, now that I know I can tolerate it my next try at something is going to be either egg salad tomorrow, or tuna salad tonight. I plan on taking the tuna with about 1 teaspoon of light mayo and some pepper, mashing it all up with a fork, and eating it. I'll start introducing things like crackers into the mix in about a month. Until then, I am confident I will be fine with this healthy version of tuna salad :-). Om nom nom.
My friend also sent me a link to a wonderful blog site (http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com). Shelly has the most amazing recipes for stuff - I can't wait to try like all of them, especially the protein ice cream :-D hehe. She also has this idea for a ricotta bake I was excited to try (I had a similar idea, but it looks like she's already coined it and even put the recipe out there lol). I am going to be making a lot more meals from home, especially in the crock pot. I have a feeling Adam will appreciate more home cooked meals too, even if they are healthier :).
Well, I'm off to do some more homework. Eat healthy all!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Uneventful Day Overall
For the most part, today was a pretty uneventful day. I ate pretty much the same things that I've been eating for the last few days. I will say, I am becoming increasingly hungry for specific items that I normally would not be hungry for. Among these items are egg salad, tuna salad, and even chicken salad.
My friend Mandy tells me it's because our bodies are designed to be able to break down simple proteins such as what is found in eggs. Because my body is being somewhat deprived of protein, at least for a few more days, I think it is the reason why I'm craving those things so much.
I am supposed to start the next phase of my diet on Monday, but if I still feel fine by tomorrow night I think I'm going to try and make egg salad. I'm going to use light mayonnaise, pepper, and maybe a little bit of mustard.
Also, on a side note, I decided to try and put a very small amount of the light shredded cheddar cheese on my cream of tomato soup yesterday. It came out perfectly, melted perfectly, and I had no problems at all. Today I had french onion broth with a very little bit of mozzarella shredded cheese. The consistency in my mouth was so gummy I didn't want to chance swallowing it and having a problem. I think from now on I'm gonna stick with things like cheddar, colby jack, and a mexican four cheese blend.
Well, I'm going to do some homework and then head to bed. Good night everyone and stay healthy :-)
My friend Mandy tells me it's because our bodies are designed to be able to break down simple proteins such as what is found in eggs. Because my body is being somewhat deprived of protein, at least for a few more days, I think it is the reason why I'm craving those things so much.
I am supposed to start the next phase of my diet on Monday, but if I still feel fine by tomorrow night I think I'm going to try and make egg salad. I'm going to use light mayonnaise, pepper, and maybe a little bit of mustard.
Also, on a side note, I decided to try and put a very small amount of the light shredded cheddar cheese on my cream of tomato soup yesterday. It came out perfectly, melted perfectly, and I had no problems at all. Today I had french onion broth with a very little bit of mozzarella shredded cheese. The consistency in my mouth was so gummy I didn't want to chance swallowing it and having a problem. I think from now on I'm gonna stick with things like cheddar, colby jack, and a mexican four cheese blend.
Well, I'm going to do some homework and then head to bed. Good night everyone and stay healthy :-)
Friday, March 9, 2012
Love Can Move Mountains (or so they say...)
To say I have felt completely loved over the last few weeks is the understatement of the year. My family, my friends, my work colleagues, etc. - everyone has come out to support me in this endeavor, and I appreciate all of them more than they will ever know.
What I have been most surprised (and touched) by are the people that read this blog either here (or updates from Facebook) and support me without me even knowing them. Also, there are many people who have told me they have also had weight loss surgery, and offer themselves as a pillar of support. Wow - I know I have always been that type of person to be supportive, there for someone, etc. without them ever asking. I didn't realize other people were like that too. They are completely selfless in their support, and my God, it is so appreciated. Today I had a wonderful conversation with an old friend from high school. She mentioned she also had the surgery, had lost over 170 lbs, and offered her support if I need it. I was completely touched and humbled by someone sharing that with me, as well as offering to be there if I had questions. She looks amazing, by the way, and has already given me a few tips regarding stuff to expect in the next six months.
Thank you to all of you wonderful people out there! Without you this journey would be a whole lot bumpier :)!
Hugs to all!
What I have been most surprised (and touched) by are the people that read this blog either here (or updates from Facebook) and support me without me even knowing them. Also, there are many people who have told me they have also had weight loss surgery, and offer themselves as a pillar of support. Wow - I know I have always been that type of person to be supportive, there for someone, etc. without them ever asking. I didn't realize other people were like that too. They are completely selfless in their support, and my God, it is so appreciated. Today I had a wonderful conversation with an old friend from high school. She mentioned she also had the surgery, had lost over 170 lbs, and offered her support if I need it. I was completely touched and humbled by someone sharing that with me, as well as offering to be there if I had questions. She looks amazing, by the way, and has already given me a few tips regarding stuff to expect in the next six months.
Thank you to all of you wonderful people out there! Without you this journey would be a whole lot bumpier :)!
Hugs to all!
First Milestone - Achieved (Already!)
Ok sooooo - people have been asking me a lot lately "what is my goal" or "what do I want to get down to". For me, it has absolutely nothing to do with a number. I don't see a number on a scale as a success or a failure. For me, my goals are much more personal. I will share them eventually, but I will share one specific one with you now (that I've already achieved - hard to believe, I know).
Not sure if you all knew this, but as a big person I take a LOT of medication. I am 33 years old and I take six pills a day for various things. Fun right? No, not fun. Expensive, annoying, and the side effects are awful for the most part. So, one of my goals was that within the first six months I wanted to be off of two of my medications. Just two to start with.
I am proud to say, that only a few weeks into this process, and only four days post-op, I have achieved my goal.
For the past 11+ years I have taken two medications to control swelling. One is called "Lasix" (water pill) and the other is called Klor-Kon (potassium pill). They go hand in hand and make you have to use the bathroom (pee) like ALL the time once you take them. It was frustrating, but something I have dealt with for years.
Since I cut out all the crazy sodium and fat from my diet my legs stopped swelling. In fact, they stopped after the first week. While in the hospital all of my medication was reassessed according to my vitals, etc. The doctor came to see me on my discharge day (Wednesday) and told me that they had some news. Because my legs were in such good shape, and because my blood pressure was completely under control (and then some) they were taking me off of Lasix and Klor-Kon - permanently. I had no idea what to say. I realize I've lost almost 50 lbs at this point, but I never thought that 50 lbs would equal these kinds of feelings, results, etc. It's a bit crazy, but to know I have achieved one of my goals already, so quickly, is something that just pushes me even harder to stay on the right track. I am completely proud of myself, and am looking forward to what the next six months brings.
My next goal, btw, is to be able to walk up the stairs at my apartment complex and not feel completely winded. See, like I said, my goals are a bit different than most, but I refuse to be a slave to the scale. I just want to get healthy. Thanks all :)
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Ensure - A Not Half Bad Drink O_O
So today, I got to crush some pills for the first time, mix them with water, and swallow them. A new experience, but one that was easy enough to pull off. I also had some Ensure for breakfast. Basically it is this high protein, chocolaty drink. It wasn't bad, actually. It really needed to be cold, though, so I put some ice in it and it was good hehe. I'm going to have a popsicle in a little bit and some soup later on. All in all I feel good (aside from the drain site - omfg it's so sore :( lol). Wednesday can't come soon enough (that's when I get it taken out thank god).
They also told me I would be on chewable Prevacid going forward. When I got the pills they are in these capsule style? I'm like WTH. I need to call my doctor and find out what's up with that o_O.
Other than that, I'm just taking it really easy, learning to eat again. Starting Wednesday of next week I move into the blended phase (cottage cheese, ricotta cheese w/ marinara sauce, blended meats (EWW no thx - cept maybe tuna and some light mayo or something lol). Anyway, that's all for now ~ ^_^ ~. Hugs to all :D
They also told me I would be on chewable Prevacid going forward. When I got the pills they are in these capsule style? I'm like WTH. I need to call my doctor and find out what's up with that o_O.
Other than that, I'm just taking it really easy, learning to eat again. Starting Wednesday of next week I move into the blended phase (cottage cheese, ricotta cheese w/ marinara sauce, blended meats (EWW no thx - cept maybe tuna and some light mayo or something lol). Anyway, that's all for now ~ ^_^ ~. Hugs to all :D
All is right with the world :-)
Me and my lovely dog Gameboy. We were both very tired Z_Z hehe
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Yay!!!!
Gas has finally returned!!! Who knew I'd be so happy about being able to fart again lol hahahahahahah!! It definitely took a little bit of the gas pain away that I had.
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Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Wow - eating is very different O_O
So, I am making it a point to follow the diet exactly as prescribed. So far I've had some carnation instant breakfast as well as some Campbell's Cream of Potato soup. I still have a lot of internal gas that isn't going anywhere, so it gets difficult for me to really eat more than a few ounces at a time. Eventually I'll be able to eat an entire lean cuisine. That's pretty much the most my stomach will get up to. For now, however, it's only four ounces per seating. Basically I eat 4 OZ within 30 mins, then do nothing for 30 mins, drink water for 30 mins, do nothing for 30 mins, and then eat 4 OZ of something else. Basically I need to eat 6 or so meals per day on average for the first few weeks. In any event, it's nice to be making progress.
I really hope the gas pains go away soon. That and the pain of the drain site are the two things that are bugging me the most. I think later will be some more carnation breakfast :).
I really hope the gas pains go away soon. That and the pain of the drain site are the two things that are bugging me the most. I think later will be some more carnation breakfast :).
Leaving :-)
No hospital leaving is complete without my handmade Princess Putica bear courtesy of Danny Reyes. :-)
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Headin' Home Today :)
Well, what a difference a few hours makes LOL. The nurse came in today and removed all of my staples, as well as one of the drains I had in. I still have another drain (which hurts like a bitch) but the pain is 1/10th of what it was this morning. So, this morning when I was woken up at 3:00 AM by the nurse I was like OMFG in so much pain! I think I was just more annoyed than anything else, but in any event I went back to bed, got up again around 7AM and said to myself, "dude, get out of bed and walk around. It's the only way you are going to feel any better =P". So, I did just that. I walked up and down the hall for about 30 minutes, going a little further each time. By the end of the time I was walking I didn't even hurt anymore. I felt so much more confident in my strides I figured, "hmm - I am going to take a shower by myself". Did I do it? You bet your ass I did! You know how nice it was to take a shower, on my own, and still not have a ton of pain? It was quite awesome actually hehe.
I have seen all of the doctors and nurses and they have all been amazing. I decided to donate all of my beautiful flowers I have received from family and friends over the last few days to the patients on this floor that don't have any flowers. If they are here, they are either in pain or in the same boat I am in trying to make a change in their life. With that said, they deserve love as much as anyone else does. I really hope it brightens up their day :).
So, I start the full liquid diet today when I get home. I am confident I will rock this out. In fact, I have never been so confident in anything in my life. I know I will lose weight, I know I will get where I want to get, and I have my amazing friends, family, and colleagues to thank for the incredible amount of support to get me there.
Love you all!
I have seen all of the doctors and nurses and they have all been amazing. I decided to donate all of my beautiful flowers I have received from family and friends over the last few days to the patients on this floor that don't have any flowers. If they are here, they are either in pain or in the same boat I am in trying to make a change in their life. With that said, they deserve love as much as anyone else does. I really hope it brightens up their day :).
So, I start the full liquid diet today when I get home. I am confident I will rock this out. In fact, I have never been so confident in anything in my life. I know I will lose weight, I know I will get where I want to get, and I have my amazing friends, family, and colleagues to thank for the incredible amount of support to get me there.
Love you all!
Raw Pain - Very VERY Real
Definitely in a lot of pain today. I was woken up twice during the night for various testing, and blood draws. I thought that it wouldn't hurt as much now, but as the days go by the pain gets worse. The worst is the pain from to open drains on the outside of my body, not on the inside. I'm told that it gets better. Lets hope so. A lot of pain, let me just tell you.
The nurses have all been nice to me, but there is 1 in particular who works in the evenings that really blows me away. She is extremely nice, very pretty, and very kind. More people have seen me naked in the last few days than people have seen in my entire life. She's one of the few people that I didn't mind that saw me naked. She always make me feel comfortable and always makes me laugh. I really hope to see her again tonight, if I'm still here.
I've been switched to oral pain medication. If I can just tell you, I do have a lot of pain, and I really miss the pump of medicine that I had the first day out of surgery. The medicine in the pump was ten times stronger than morphine. It made me sleepy, and kind of made me feel queasy, but at least I didn't feel any of the pain associated with surgery.
All in all I'm looking forward to seeing the doctor today, and having him determine if it's time that I go home. Do I think I'm ready to go home? I don't know. I'm in so much pain, I really hope I'll be able to handle it. If I didn't have these damn drains, my pain would be very minimal. It's these damned drains that really hurt. Not everyone gets drains. It just depends on how big you are.
Signing off for now. More to come later :-)
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Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Good news keeps a comin' :)
Well, I had my upper GI and everything is totally clear with no leaks! Yeah! Since that test this morning I had my iv removed, my catheter removed, and now all I have left are the 2 drains. Those should be coming out sometime next week at my follow up visit. If everything keeps going the way it's been going, I should be able to leave tomorrow :-) Worst case scenario, I leave on Thursday instead.
My Aunt Sandy in California sent me these beautiful flowers. Everybody's been talking about that today. Like I said before, everyone has just been that wonderful since I've been here. Thank you to the entire staff of Alexian Brothers Medical Center.
I am having a bunch of visitors this afternoon and evening, so I am going to take a shower in a little while and try to get cleaned up before company arrives. Adam is here again, as always, and I am so thankful for him everything he does for me.
I love you all!
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Ouchies!
I have been mostly posting to facebook, but wanted to take a minute post here too. I had surgery yesterday morning. Luckily, I was able to do it laproscopically. I am so happy about that. I am amazed at the outpouring of true love friendship and companionship that I've been shown by everybody over the last 24 hours. I'm definitely in pain, but it's manageable. I'm waiting to go get an upper g I right now. I will keep everybody updated once I find out more information. If everything goes well, I can start my clear liquids. Let's pray :-)
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Monday, March 5, 2012
so excited for surgery!!! :-P not lol
Don't we look happy to be here!!
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Looks like we're a go!
Well, it looks like I don't have a fever, lungs are clear, and all is a go for surgery. I should be "under" in about 30 minutes. For the first time I am truly feeling butterflies and sort of nauseous. I've never had surgery before so it's to be expected that I feel a bit scared. Overall, though, I'm excited. Just in case anything happens, know that I appreciate all of you, and love that you are supporting me in this. Thank you for taking the journey with me!! I'll touch base with everyone if I feel up to it later today. Hugs to all!
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The day is here!
After years of thought, months of waiting, numerous hoops to jump through, the day has finally arrived. I'd be more excited if i actually believed I'd be having surgery today. At the moment my cold seems to have developed into an ear infection (or it has just settled in my ear). In any event, I'm heading to the hospital now hoping for some good news. As an aside, I didn't sleep at all last night. Zzzzzzzz. Looking forward to resting for a few days after this is over. Hugs to all!
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Sunday, March 4, 2012
'Twas the Night Before Snip Day...
Where are we now you ask? Why, we are T-Minus less than 10 hours before surgery! About seven months ago I made a decision to have gastric bypass surgery. Being someone over 400 lbs I realized that while having lap band surgery would work, and I would lose about 100-125 lbs, it is nowhere near enough to bring me down to a weight that I am comfortable with. So, after consulting with my surgeon, Dr. Jonathan Wallace of The Kane Center, I decided to have gastric bypass surgery instead.
What have I done to prepare for the surgery? Well, I went through an insurance battle from hell with my company's insurance (they don't cover any kind of bariatric surgery at all). I thought this would never happen, but my partner ended up getting hired on with his company and they had United Health Care. Once I sent in the application for surgery I was expecting all kinds of drama like with my company's insurance. Is that what happened? Nope, not at all. I was approved for gastric bypass surgery in five days. The nurse from UHC called me personally to tell me on December 23rd. It was one of the best Christmas presents I have ever received.
For the last two weeks I have been on this meal replacement plan diet thing. OMFG let me just tell you, it completely sucked. The chocolate protein powder was "tolerable" but the vanilla was completely inedible. For those going through Bariatric Advantage for their meal replacement plan, AVOID THE VANILLA at all costs. Aside from these shakes (3-5 times per day) I was also able to eat things like chicken, beef, vegetable broth, certain fruits, sugar free Jell-O, sugar free popsicles, etc. The idea behind the diet is so you can shrink your liver (and remove the fat around your liver) as much as possible to increase your chances of having laparoscopic surgery.
Did it work in my case? I have no idea - I won't know until the surgeon makes his first cut tomorrow and puts the camera in there to look around. I will say...I lost over 25 lbs in the last two weeks on this diet :). WOOHOO! At least it's a start. So, while still not Principle Resident of 4-9-1 street, I still have a long way to go.
The time is rapidly approaching for me to get to bed, but before I do I want to say how I feel right now. All in all, I am not really nervous about tomorrow. I mean sure, I have never had surgery before so anything involving me being cut open is scary and makes me nervous. I am told that I will have a breathing tube down my throat when I get up, as well as two "drains" put in that will remain in for 8 days (GROSS - sorry Adam Q_Q). Still, even with that, I am not too terrified. The only thing that scares me is due to a conversation I had with my surgeon on Thursday. He told me that even though I lost a bunch of weight over the last two weeks, he isn't sure I will be able to have the surgery laparoscopically. That's a huge bummer because, 1) I don't want this huge 8-10 inch cut on my stomach, and 2) I worked REALLY hard for this and as much as he tells me the healing won't be any longer with it, I don't really believe him lol :P
Oh, and on a side note, someone from work made me sick on Thursday of last week and I have been fighting a cold since then. Right now I am congested to the moon, but feel ok overall. I talked to one of the surgeons this morning and he said that everything should be fine and I should come in anyway. The anesthesiologist will review me tomorrow (and my congestion) and decide if surgery is a go or a slight postpone for a few days. I am hoping it's a go.
4:30 AM comes early folks. G'night :-D!
Introductions
So, now that I've peaked your interest you may be wondering who is the "face" behind the keyboard. Well, I'd like to solve that for everyone now =P
My name is Sven. I'm a 33 year old guy from the Chicagoland area. I have a partner of over 4 years (Adam) and we have two "children" - Gameboy (minpin-chihuahua mix) and Akira (black short hair domestic kitty).
By day I work in the daring world of corporate finance! By night I'm a reality show/video game junkie who loves nothing more than to relax at home with good friends, good food, and good conversation.
I'm pretty much always a "happy" kind of guy and very easygoing :)
I started this blog for a few reasons. The first is I wanted an outlet as to where I could write my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, and pretty much everything else as I head into the uncharted frontier of having gastric bypass surgery. I also want to provide some kind of resource for people that are considering having the surgery. I have done a lot of research into the blog world over the last few months and all of them pretty much are the same to me - "I am fat, I hate myself, I hate my life, surgery will fix everything!"
That is so not how this blog goes ~. You didn't get fat overnight, and you aren't going to get thin overnight either. The surgery is a tool, not the golden chalice from the Last Supper. It is not a holy, divine method guaranteeing weight loss. YOU have to be the one to want this. YOU have to be the one to work towards this. If you are dedicated, you WILL get there. Just remember, someone out there is about to go through it too and they love you for wanting to make this change to your life!
My name is Sven. I'm a 33 year old guy from the Chicagoland area. I have a partner of over 4 years (Adam) and we have two "children" - Gameboy (minpin-chihuahua mix) and Akira (black short hair domestic kitty).
By day I work in the daring world of corporate finance! By night I'm a reality show/video game junkie who loves nothing more than to relax at home with good friends, good food, and good conversation.
I'm pretty much always a "happy" kind of guy and very easygoing :)
I started this blog for a few reasons. The first is I wanted an outlet as to where I could write my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, and pretty much everything else as I head into the uncharted frontier of having gastric bypass surgery. I also want to provide some kind of resource for people that are considering having the surgery. I have done a lot of research into the blog world over the last few months and all of them pretty much are the same to me - "I am fat, I hate myself, I hate my life, surgery will fix everything!"
That is so not how this blog goes ~. You didn't get fat overnight, and you aren't going to get thin overnight either. The surgery is a tool, not the golden chalice from the Last Supper. It is not a holy, divine method guaranteeing weight loss. YOU have to be the one to want this. YOU have to be the one to work towards this. If you are dedicated, you WILL get there. Just remember, someone out there is about to go through it too and they love you for wanting to make this change to your life!
4.9.1. -- A History ~
4. 9. 1. Tomorrow's winning lottery numbers? The address to your new boyfriend's house? Wait, I got it - it's that three digit security number on the back of your credit card right? At the end of the day, they are simply three random numbers which may have a meaning to some, but nothing major.
To me, that is not the case.
The numbers "4. 9. 1." represent a very significant point in my life. It represents something that I often times can't believe. It represents the heaviest weight I have ever been in my life, as of two weeks ago: 4.9.1.
I've read a bunch of these blogs over the last few months, filled with people who beat themselves up (sometimes literally o_O) for getting to this kind of weight. The complete and utter self-hatred they have for themselves is astounding. I remember reading a post of this guy that had a lap-band surgery. He weight more than I did when he had it, yet he thought it would fix all of his problems. Four years later he has dropped 80 lbs...and then gained 40 of them back. His posts were full of how he would drive by a McDonald's, park in the parking lot, and cry for 15 minutes, utterly hating himself, before finally walking into the McDonald's to get a Big Mac. He further went on to write things in his blog like how he "didn't deserve to be happy because he was so overweight" or how "he knows his wife looks at him with no pride in her eyes, just contempt in her scowl". It was so completely dramatic I thought that there was an Academy Award involved at some point throughout his story.
I can tell you all one thing: You won't find any of that self-loathing shit here.
Don't get me wrong - I completely feel for the guy, and my heart goes out to him to find the strength within himself to realize he is loved, is beautiful, and can get through this. At the end of the day, however, I don't have any intentions of ever beating myself up to that extent because of a number on a scale. I've always been an upbeat, chipper, happy person (much to the annoyance of some friends, family, and co-workers alike ;-] ). I can't help it, though: I just take what I am given and make the most of it. I try to surround myself with people that accept me for who I am, love me for what I am, and encourage me to become the man I am destined to be.
With that said, you may be asking yourself, "why am I reading this person talk about his life?" Well, the answer is simple - you are reading this because you are either curious how someone got to 491 lbs, or more curious about what they are going to do about it. Well, I promise you one thing - I will do everything I can to let you into my life and provide some of these answers to you. Whether or not you choose to keep reading is your choice. I welcome your support, welcome your positive thoughts and encouragement. If you are here to be negative, or have anything negative to say, go ahead and move on because this is a blog full of LOVE not DRAMA :-).
Without further ado, I welcome you with me on my journey towards becoming a better (smaller), healthier me!
To me, that is not the case.
The numbers "4. 9. 1." represent a very significant point in my life. It represents something that I often times can't believe. It represents the heaviest weight I have ever been in my life, as of two weeks ago: 4.9.1.
I've read a bunch of these blogs over the last few months, filled with people who beat themselves up (sometimes literally o_O) for getting to this kind of weight. The complete and utter self-hatred they have for themselves is astounding. I remember reading a post of this guy that had a lap-band surgery. He weight more than I did when he had it, yet he thought it would fix all of his problems. Four years later he has dropped 80 lbs...and then gained 40 of them back. His posts were full of how he would drive by a McDonald's, park in the parking lot, and cry for 15 minutes, utterly hating himself, before finally walking into the McDonald's to get a Big Mac. He further went on to write things in his blog like how he "didn't deserve to be happy because he was so overweight" or how "he knows his wife looks at him with no pride in her eyes, just contempt in her scowl". It was so completely dramatic I thought that there was an Academy Award involved at some point throughout his story.
I can tell you all one thing: You won't find any of that self-loathing shit here.
Don't get me wrong - I completely feel for the guy, and my heart goes out to him to find the strength within himself to realize he is loved, is beautiful, and can get through this. At the end of the day, however, I don't have any intentions of ever beating myself up to that extent because of a number on a scale. I've always been an upbeat, chipper, happy person (much to the annoyance of some friends, family, and co-workers alike ;-] ). I can't help it, though: I just take what I am given and make the most of it. I try to surround myself with people that accept me for who I am, love me for what I am, and encourage me to become the man I am destined to be.
With that said, you may be asking yourself, "why am I reading this person talk about his life?" Well, the answer is simple - you are reading this because you are either curious how someone got to 491 lbs, or more curious about what they are going to do about it. Well, I promise you one thing - I will do everything I can to let you into my life and provide some of these answers to you. Whether or not you choose to keep reading is your choice. I welcome your support, welcome your positive thoughts and encouragement. If you are here to be negative, or have anything negative to say, go ahead and move on because this is a blog full of LOVE not DRAMA :-).
Without further ado, I welcome you with me on my journey towards becoming a better (smaller), healthier me!
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